I just got an e-mail from a Facebook friend--who meant well--about not posting sad status updates, because it's been a year and I should be getting over it by now. There was more to it than that, and his heart was totally in the right place, but I'm really getting sick of all the people who want me to just magically feel better. And in the absence of magically feeling better, apparently I am supposed to repress all my pain and PRETEND I feel better, no matter what.
I think this will make THEM feel better, because emotional pain scares people. They don't know how to help it, so they'd rather not have to know about it.
I'll tell you what DOESN'T help: telling me to "buck up" and "focus on the positive" and all the other cliches I keep hearing. It doesn't help to hear from happily married 30-year-olds (and younger) how my time is coming, and that I'm awesome, and some guy is just gonna lose his mind when he hears me sing some day... I've been hearing it for too long, and it's not happened. The one guy I ever got was a long time coming, and he didn't find me worth fighting for. It's not like there's been a line out the door of men wanting to help make me feel better in the aftermath...
So I kind of wish everyone would just shut up. Which is exactly why this is an anonymous blog that only one of my friends knows about.